To My First Love, With Regret - 39

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

Ethan stared ahead with wide, set eyes, gritting his teeth. His father, whose gaze was already turned toward the rear, asked:

—Who is that woman?

—The Lady of Kentrell.

—Ah.

The short exclamation was laden with both understanding and curiosity. His father voiced one of the latter:

—When did she betray you, and why is she waiting now?

Ethan was curious about that, too. Although he felt he knew the reason.

—That old man, your release news today caused his blood pressure to spike, and he’s hovering between life and death at the hospital. If he dies, the right of succession will soon pass to the Lady’s eldest child. Why don’t you take the Lady with you now?

—She abandoned me and sided with her father, and now that her father is dying and she has nowhere else to turn, she’s trying to cling to me again.

—Hmm, Ethan. I agree that you don’t want to see her, but think rationally. Isn’t securing that woman the easiest way to secure Kentrell for yourself?

—I plan to do so when the time is right.

He knew it. No matter how much he hated her, acquiring Eve now was the smartest choice.

But if he faced Eve again now, he felt he would revert to his foolish past self. His sharpened thirst for revenge would undoubtedly be blunted and rusted by a single tear from her.

Don’t look back. Don’t look back.

Tears mingled with blood vessels in his eyes, which were fixed only on the road ahead.

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Ethan Fairchild had promised.

He promised he wouldn’t cage Eve, but that they would soar high together. He had begged her not to fly away from him.

Like that brilliant summer, the love had ended. Eve was abandoned. As always. By her mother, her father, and now her lover. Eve was never the first choice for anyone.

The heartless winter wind scraped against the woman’s heart as she stood on the cliff, stealing away the tears she shed in her folly.

After shedding her tears, cursing the man who could no longer hear her words, the woman emptied her heart and walked back to the cage on her own two feet.

Her steps, which hadn’t stopped even as she trudged along, halted when her vision swam and her stomach began to churn. There was only one reason to feel the seasickness that the children of this place outgrew by the age of three, while standing on solid ground.

Eve threw up her empty stomach beneath the exotic garden tree her father cherished. Today, strangely, her throat felt raw, as if she had swallowed a razor blade. The moment her flickering vision cleared, she saw bright red blood mixed with stomach acid. Eve’s heart sank.

—Lady! Where have you been?

Just as she was trembling alone in fear, someone called her name and ran toward her from a distance. Thankfully, it was Chantal.

—My goodness, you should have just stayed lying down… Hah…

Chantal, who saw what Eve had thrown up, frowned, then her eyes flew open.

—Lady… are you perhaps…

Chantal had figured it out. And somehow, that was a relief. Eve, utterly exhausted, clung to the only ally she had left and pleaded:

—Save the baby… save the baby.

The man flew away alone, and the woman was trapped in the cage with the child he left behind.

It was the predictable end of a young, foolish love built on nothing but rashness.

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Even when love ends, life does not stop.

Her father stubbornly survived, but a stroke left him unable to move or speak. Though his mind still seemed clear, the tyrant, stripped of action and language, was just a tiger without teeth.

Thanks to this, Eve gained her freedom but had nowhere to go. She confined herself to the house and buried herself in work. Now, she was the only one to look after the family in place of her living dead father.

It was an absolute headache going from a person who only spent money to one who managed all the expenses. That very headache, which allowed her no time to think of anything else, was exactly what Eve wanted.

It was late autumn, as she was learning about the family’s finances, piece by piece, when Dr. Callas, after checking her condition, made a serious suggestion.

—Lady, if you give birth here, it will be impossible to prevent the rumors from spreading. How about taking a rest abroad until you give birth and then returning before your belly swells?

This was a topic she could no longer avoid with the excuse of being too busy with work. Since it was true, she decided to follow the advice.

She thought of the Kentrell Ducal family’s overseas villas but dismissed the thought. That, too, would ultimately leave evidence that the Lady of Kentrell had given birth to an illegitimate child.

She had to go somewhere completely unconnected to the ducal family. Chantal thankfully suggested her hometown, where Chantal’s mother and grandmother, who were midwives, could look after Eve.

Thus, Eve parted with her child in the land of Lavinia, where she had conceived the baby.

Chantal’s hometown was a small village nestled in the mountains. The pastoral scenery reminded her of Montfleur. The happy times there, which she had desperately tried to bury under the pressure of her work, came rushing back to Eve.

—I will protect you and our child.

—We are husband and wife.

—Good morning, Mrs. Fairchild.

Sweet whispers, eyes filled with love sweeter than those words, and promises of forever.

If only it had all been a lie, she could have shaken it off. Knowing that the Ethan of that time was absolutely sincere made her cling even more to the past.

We could have continued to live like that time. This child would have been born into blessing and raised with love.

The happiness she had never doubted would last forever was stolen in an instant. By the hand of her father, who had always been a plunderer in her life, and by the hand of the man who had given her that happiness himself.

If only it were a dream.

The days continued with the same pattern: Eve closed her eyes, foolishly praying to wake up back in the day she fell in love with Ethan. But day by day, the weight of reality grew heavier, crushing the life out of Eve.

The baby grew rapidly, feeding on its mother’s vitality. Every time she felt the quickening, signaling that the child was alive, the reckless, childish Evelyn Sherwood of nineteen slowly died.

The time during which she had to die in order to save one life ended on a lonely day in May, when the world was dazzlingly bright.

—You did well. The baby is a little small but looks healthy.

Chantal’s mother, who delivered the baby, did not hand the child to her. Eve did not try to hold the baby either. She wouldn’t be able to handle whatever emotions she felt. Even after the burden that had been crushing her chest was gone, her heart still ached.

The baby might have been a fruit of love at conception, but it was no longer. Seeing with her own eyes the price of believing in love was never a pleasant experience to begin with.

She felt sorry for the child. But the baby would never know its biological mother’s regret, or even its biological mother’s existence, anyway.

—It’s a boy! Thank you, Lady.

Seeing that at least the person who would become his mother welcomed the baby, she didn’t have to worry about the child’s future.

—Oh dear… he’s a blonde. Well, we can say he takes after me in hair color. His eyes are… blue. Whew, what a relief. But it’s lucky he resembles you, Lady.

Eve didn’t understand why Chantal was happy that the baby resembled another woman when she was going to raise him as her own.

Regardless, who the child resembled didn’t matter to Eve. The man wouldn’t be curious either.

After all, he will grow up as someone else’s child.

While Eve was hiding there, Chantal had married Dr. Callas. She had managed to overcome the opposition of the lawyer, Dr. Callas.

Eve did not want to abandon the baby in just any orphanage. She had asked the doctor to find a good family, and the two of them stepped forward to raise him. Chantal even wore a pillow under her dress in Cliffhaven to make sure no one ever knew he was an adopted child.

To go to such lengths for me.

She was incredibly grateful but couldn’t quite believe it. She had lived believing that no one in the world gives unconditionally and that a hidden price is always behind a favor.

But the couple even refused financial support for the child. However, only being grateful in her heart was something Eve’s conscience wouldn’t allow. She felt she would only feel at ease if she generously provided everything the family possessed, whether it be wealth or power.

Eve planned to return to White Cliff Hall and immediately seize control of the family, leaving her father as a figurehead. Who could object to the Duke’s daughter acting as his proxy?

Her father might want to object, but he had neither the power nor a successor to push Eve out. Therefore, the family was as good as Eve’s now.

Despite her intentions, she couldn’t return immediately. Eve needed to recover, and the baby was too fragile to endure a long journey.

Because of this, the growing cries of the baby, as they were confined with only one wall separating them in the small farmhouse, tore at Eve’s soul day by day. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, she urged their departure, and the three of them returned to Cliffhaven one month after the baby was born.

They rode in the car driven by Dr. Callas, heading from the harbor toward the cliff. The manor began to appear in sight. It was the moment to part with the child.

‘I am sorry. Be happy.’

Eve looked directly at the baby in Chantal’s arms this one time, bidding farewell only in her heart.

The car stopped in front of the manor’s main entrance. The butler opened the door and politely offered his hand. Eve stepped out of the car and received the greetings of the employees, but then she was startled.

—Chantal?

Why are you following me out? And holding the baby, no less.

She understood the reason when the butler respectfully greeted Chantal.

—Duchess, I’m relieved you and the Young Duke have returned safely.

Chantal Garnier had become the Duchess of Kentrell. While Eve was away.