To My First Love, With Regret - 111

The child, who was never particularly skilled at hiding, watched the two of them with nearly his entire body exposed from behind the corner at the end of the hallway. His gaze betrayed a budding curiosity about the complicated affairs of adults.

It felt as if Tony might run over at any second and ask:

Eve, why is Ethan crying?

Because our child died.

But Eve….

The eyes of truth stared straight at her.

I’m right here, alive.

That transparent gaze felt so much like a mirror of judgment that Eve couldn’t bear to meet the boy’s eyes and turned her head away. Before the child could discover the ugly, bare faces of adults deceiving one another, Eve pulled Ethan into the bedroom.

Click.

The moment she locked the door, a thick arm snared Eve’s waist, and a hot body pressed against her back. ‘Clinging’ would be a more accurate description than ‘embracing.’

His despair transferred purely through their touching skin. Ethan leaned his cheek against her ear, exhaling ragged, damp breaths.

—If I had… looked back at you just once that day… if I had reached out my hand no matter how much I hated you….

Thump.

The impact reverberated in her eardrums. She had thought it was the sound of the wind shaking the window, but what was shaking helplessly now was Eve’s heart.

Ethan regrets abandoning me.

It was the very regret she had spent countless nights over ten years longing for—the regret she had finally given up on after facing the man who had returned as a monster of arrogance and self-righteousness.

Drip.

The remorse Ethan shed soaked Eve’s cheek. His tears were hot enough to leave a searing trail. Perhaps, inside him now, a fire of regret that would never go out was blazing, consuming him from within.

It was the moment she had wished for more than anything, yet as he writhed in unbearable pain, she didn’t feel the relief of a long-held grudge being cleared. Instead, her chest ached with a burning sting.

—If I had… by now, we….

Eve finished the sentence Ethan couldn’t bring himself to complete.

Would we have been happy? We might have fought endlessly, hating each other just like now, but we would have been a married couple bickering over a child’s Christmas present instead of enemies destroying one another.

Absurdly trivial, and heart-wrenchingly ordinary.

That day, the two of them were robbed of each other, and in doing so, their small happiness was stolen.

—Ugh….

Before she could even realize it, a sob burst out. As she instinctively covered her mouth in embarrassment, the hand around her waist turned her around.

Ethan’s broad arms enveloped her deeply, as if fitting together broken shards. A cracked whisper burrowed into Eve’s chest.

—…I’m sorry.

—…What?

—I’m sorry….

The one thing that finally broke Eve—who had remained unshaken by the countless vitriolic insults Ethan had spat at her—was a single, sincere apology.

—Why… why did you leave me when you were going to end up regretting it? Why!

Returning to the nineteen-year-old self who had been left alone on that cliff ten years ago, Eve beat against his chest. That solid wall, which seemed like it would never waver, heaved helplessly under her fists.

One does not scream at a wall. The mouth that remained tightly shut before a monster who couldn’t be reasoned with finally opened before a human who could feel remorse. Only now could she finally pour out the resentment she had suppressed so tightly, but….

—I, I… you…….

Her words were buried under the erupting sobs. The hand that had been cradling and stroking Eve’s head as she wept sorrowfully suddenly turned fierce. Ethan pushed Eve back, gripped both her shoulders as if to crush them, and met her eyes.

—Then why on earth did you!

Still looking at her with eyes drenched in guilt, he began to blame her.

—If you were going to come back to me in the end, why back then….

What exactly did he want to resent? Perhaps knowing he had no grounds to blame the Eve of that time, Ethan bit his lip without finishing the sentence.

Once again, like a man who had lost both legs to support himself, he collapsed weakly downward. He leaned his forehead against Eve’s lower belly—the place he believed was an empty grave. Then, he pleaded desperately.

—Tell me it’s a lie…. Please….

Her hand tunneled through the hair of the sobbing man. Mimicking the clumsy comfort he had offered her moments ago, Eve bit her lip, then released it, over and over again.

Should I tell him? Or should I not?

As she watched the man writhe in the guilt of having killed his own child, a sense of guilt began to rear its head within Eve as well. That desperate figure, wishing this catastrophic tragedy were a lie, was cursedly similar to her own.

As she floundered in the depths of this fierce conflict, uncontrollable compassion rose to her chin. Finally, Eve’s tightly shut lips parted ever so slightly. A trembling breath pushed the truth that could save him to the tip of her tongue.

Yes, it’s a lie.

The child from ten years ago, and this child growing in my womb now… they are both alive and breathing.

I’m sorry, too. You deceived me, so I deceived you. This is all just a ridiculous farce I staged to escape your clutches.

…If she confessed like this, would Ethan smile and thank her?

No.

He would fly into a rage because she dared to toy with him, and he would strike her across the face. He would grab her by the hair and drag her away to lock her up. Just as her father had.

Then, he would slowly strip the flesh from her bones and kill her in agony. Just as he had done to her father.

A chilling shiver raced down her spine. The large hands currently clutching her could turn at any moment to strangle her.

Get a grip, Evelyn Sherwood. Are you going to be fooled by the devil again and get caught in those claws?

Looking back, it was always premature trust that had shoved Eve’s life into the mire.

Chantal, whom she hadn’t cast aside to keep her faith, had betrayed her. Owen, whom she believed to be a good person, was a minion of devils. And Ethan, whom she had never doubted loved her—hadn’t he heartlessly abandoned her because he loved himself more?

The foolish belief that others possessed hearts filled with warm blood just like her own—that was the very reason Eve had lost her wings and been trapped in this cage for ten years.

Don’t repeat the same stupid mistake. If you get locked in here again, you’ll never be able to dream of freedom.

Eve narrowly swallowed the confession that would have pulled Ethan out of hell while simultaneously dropping herself into that very abyss. As if crushing the lingering faith in humanity she still couldn’t discard, she bit her lip and made a vow.

I won’t trust anyone anymore.

Stubbornly, Eve firmly wiped away her flowing tears. Once her wet eyes dried, the pity for the man sobbing at her feet began to look like a luxury.

Because in the end, you’re just a thief like them, here to steal what’s mine.

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BOOM!

The following afternoon, a thunderous roar struck White Cliff Hall as if to shatter the glass windows.

Eve speculated based on common sense. Was the enemy launching another surprise attack? Or perhaps another part of the cliff had collapsed?

—Lady, the caretaker of Kentrell Castle has sent a report.

However, the identity of the explosion the butler relayed after receiving the urgent contact was far beyond the realm of common sense.

Some madman had detonated dynamite in broad daylight, blowing up the entire Kentrell family cemetery.

The sight Eve encountered at the castle was closer to death than a graveyard. It resembled a battlefield that had been carpet-bombed.

Shards of shattered coffins had flown everywhere, some even rolling around at the entrance of the cemetery.

As she approached the blast site, headstones split in half were shoved into the mud, defiling the names engraved upon them.

The spot where the explosives had detonated was even more gruesome. The earth, where the dead had taken their eternal rest, gaped open like a black maw leading to hell.

Where did all the demons who occupied this land go? Did they fall into hell?

The castle caretaker, having no way of knowing what the Princess of Kentrell was thinking as she looked down into the excavated family graves, fidgeted restlessly.

—I thought about calling the police, but I felt it would be best for the Lady to decide….

—The police? It’s a waste of time for everyone.

Didn’t everyone already know exactly what kind of madman the culprit was?

In the Kentrell cemetery, only two graves had been blown apart: her father’s and Harry’s.

The graves were still here, even if blown to bits, but where had their owners gone?

Even if they had been buried for ten years, shouldn’t there be at least a few bone fragments left? Yet, they had vanished without a trace.

—My God, did the dogs catch the scent….

Eve’s question was naturally answered the moment the caretaker spotted a pack of dogs swarming beyond the low fence.

—Wait, what is… that?

The dogs were burying their noses in a whitish heap, sniffing incessantly. Upon closer inspection, the objects were human remains.