My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 310
The moment she looked at the blue diamond, modeled after Edwin’s eyes, Giselle recalled the conversation they had on the way back after he had given her the ring.
—Is this a diamond? Aren’t blue diamonds rare? How did you get one exactly the color of your eyes?
—I didn’t get it myself.
It was a gift his mother had given him on his coming-of-age day.
—When you meet the woman you want to make your wife someday, have this made into an engagement ring and give it to her.
It seemed his mother had hoped that by seeing her son, who resembled her the most, establish a proper and happy family, a fresh layer of skin would grow over the heart that had been wounded by her own unhappy marriage.
However, Edwin, whose heart had already been hurt by his parents’ flawed marriage, had already resolved to live as a bachelor for life.
For this reason, this diamond that resembled him was less a thoughtful gift and more a debt of the heart.
It only occurs to her now, but perhaps it was a gift infused with prescience.
Had she received a divine message that a future daughter-in-law she had never met would want this, allowing her to save her son the trouble in advance?
She felt as if he had become housed within the body of the woman he loved. Giselle seemed to feel the same way. A dreamlike smile passed between them, resting on the engagement ring.
—Lieutenant Bishop, do you have a man you’re going to marry?
It wasn’t a sudden fit of playfulness.
—Who is he?
—His name is Edwin Eccleston.
He merely wanted to hear Giselle say the words she was marrying him one more time.
—Do you love that man enough to marry him?
—Didn’t you say that phrase was forbidden?
Seeing the man look crestfallen, having painted himself into a corner, Giselle laughed with a triumphant air, but she felt the same yearning.
Her mouth was itching to tell him she loved him. She needed to say something else, like drinking alcohol to quench a thirst if no water is available.
The story Edwin had wanted to hear but she had put off with one excuse after another.
—I can tell you the moment I fell in love with you, right?
—Of course.
The look in his eyes, fixed on her face, showed how much he had been anticipating this insignificant story. To focus his entire being on listening, the hand that had been caressing her body stopped.
The warmth of his hand soaked into her skin. When she took a deep breath, the familiar scent of his body—mint and aftershave—tickled her chest. But why did a corner of her heart tingle at the regular groan of the old, rattling fan?
In that momentary sensation, Giselle suddenly realized:
—It was a day like today.
A summer day, cooling off with a fan. The languid relaxation after a rich, full day. And the comfort of this man’s arms.
—That summer I was thirteen, at the Costa Smeralda villa.
Edwin’s eyes widened, as if he had never imagined it began that early.
—Do you remember falling asleep in the garden and not waking up when it started to pour, so you carried me inside and put me to bed?
His eyes grew heavy, weighted with an apologetic and regretful look. But Giselle was not disappointed.
He couldn’t possibly remember. That wasn’t the first time Edwin had carried a sleeping Giselle inside. Since it was merely a recurring part of his everyday life back then, he wouldn’t have carved it deeply into his memory.
—And then, just like now, you were quietly reading a book in the room where the fan was running, and you looked unfamiliar. I pretended to be asleep and watched you silently, and my heart pounded.
Why?
If asked this, Giselle wouldn’t have an answer.
Why did I feel Edwin as a man in the midst of countless repetitive days, in a moment so identical that I couldn’t tell yesterday from today?
Giselle spoke first, before he could ask the same question he held in his eyes.
—I don’t know why I fell in love then, either. So don’t ask for the reason. I said I’d tell you the catalyst, didn’t I?
The man who had just heard the secret he so longed for said nothing. He stared at the ceiling above them, which only showed cracks due to the poor plastering, while holding Giselle. Finally, the man, deep in thought, opened his mouth.
—I think it was the same for me. There was a time when you suddenly felt unfamiliar to me. It was rare at first, but by the time I realized I saw you as a woman, it was quite often.
In this way, she found empathy for something neither of them could fully comprehend.
—Don’t you think our love is like misty rain?
—Misty rain?
—Raindrops so fine you can’t see them, so you don’t realize they’re soaking you until you come to and find your whole body drenched—that kind of love.
He suggested that their hearts must have been subtly colored by their feelings for each other, too small to be felt, like misty rain, for a very long time, and that the moment of realization was simply when it occurred.
Had they not realized it at that moment, they would have inevitably become aware of it at some other point.
Because no matter how fine the rain is, once you are thoroughly drenched, you cannot help but feel it.
—That is inevitable.
Therefore, he said this love was not a reasonless accident, like a natural disaster, but an inevitability created by the two of them.
—Because you are a man I couldn’t help but love.
—And you are a woman I couldn’t help but love.
Now, the moment they fell in love no longer felt incomprehensible or trivial. It was the day they faced their destiny.
—Then, shall we go to Costa Esmeralda for our honeymoon?
The man, who had just heard when she fell in love, smiled with satisfaction, as if a long-cherished wish had been granted, and began planning their return to that place.
—We’ll sail around Costa Emeralda on a yacht, buy ice cream on the beach, and come back to the villa to nap all we want in the hammock. Together, this time.
—That sounds perfect.
Edwin’s honeymoon plan did not stop there.
—We can also visit the ancient ruins of Athos, and spend a night in the desert making love under the Milky Way…
—Are you planning a trip around the world?
—It’s a honeymoon; we have to do that much. How can we celebrate a marriage with the same kind of vacation we usually take?
—That’s true…
—And, you said you wanted to go there. Oh, of course, making love under the Milky Way is something I want to do, though.
Only then did she realize that these were the destinations she had dreamed of right after graduating from Fullerton Academy.
—You remembered that?
The person who dreamed the dream had completely forgotten it, yet the man she thought had merely heard it in passing had accurately memorized it all this time.
It was regrettable that she hadn’t known the depth of his affection back then, how he deeply held her minor wishes even during the days he struggled with the private battle raging in his mind.
A wave of heat surged deep in her chest. Her love was so overwhelming that it threatened to spill out of her mouth. But if she suddenly said it now, he wouldn’t believe her.
—Edwin, I’ll be perfect anywhere, as long as I have you.
Giselle wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. Just as he did when he was deeply intoxicated with affection, she touched her nose to his and rubbed it gently.
As always, a light touch blossomed into a deep kiss. As their lips parted and they paused to catch their breath, she began to worry.
She needed to get back to the female officers’ quarters while it was still dark…
His embrace was so cozy she worried she might just fall asleep. Edwin likely wouldn’t wake her up. Unless they both fell asleep.
The man, watching her with languid eyes, whose eyelids were loosely lowered, broke the silence with his drying mouth.
—Giselle.
Giselle tilted her head and blinked. It was more of a whispered recitation than a call.
From her chin to her lips, from her lips to her nose, tracing the bridge of her nose to her eyes. He explored her face with his gaze, and when he opened his mouth again…
—Natalia.
The sleepiness instantly vanished.
Had Giselle’s shock been contagious? The table lamp suddenly flickered and then finally went out. But the look in the eyes she faced before the light died was unmistakably Edwin’s.
It seemed to be a power outage, as the fan also stopped. A low resonance cut through the silence that resembled the darkness.
—Are you surprised I called you Natalia?
—…You don’t call me by that name.
Disappointment was audible in the low voice that answered this time.
—I used to call you Natalia, didn’t I? Did you forget already?
Asure: By emphasizing himself, Edwin revealed the other man hidden in his heart.
Therefore, he was asserting that he had not stolen the name of love from Lorenz.
—I was just… surprised by the suddenness.
Giselle, like Edwin, responded without stubbornly uttering the other man’s name. She was conveying that he had merely confused her with Lorenz.
—I wanted to call you that.
Had seeing her brother and returning to his hometown made him nostalgic?
—I also thought, perhaps this is how I should be calling you.
—Why?
Asure: Sorry for the inconvenience since Saturday or Sunday, but I’m having problems with WordPress… I said it in the Spanish version, I’ll say it here too: In my opinion, WordPress has better dynamics for websites, but when its wires get crossed, these problems of updating and seeing the issues with hosting technical support occur, unlike Blogspot, which until now I haven’t had any problems with. Anyway, let’s not get off-topic… enjoy the reading, have a good Wednesday.
Madara Info
Madara stands as a beacon for those desiring to craft a captivating online comic and manga reading platform on WordPress
For custom work request, please send email to wpstylish(at)gmail(dot)com
Alina 19
Thanks for the chapter.You are the best ❤️💥