My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 280

Giselle’s love, which squeezed him from both the inside and out, was so overwhelming he had no way of winning. There was no longer anything holding him back. He let the tension go from all the muscles in his body and let the pleasure he had been suppressing burst forth. Edwin came inside Giselle’s hot embrace.

He could breathe again. As he gushed out the product of his lust, he felt as if the unpleasant dregs of anguish that had clung to his heart his entire life had been expelled from his body as well. Only at the moment of catharsis, brought about by the power of love, did he willingly admit that the desire he had tried to deny his entire life also existed within him.

With the wings Giselle had given him, he soared high, effortlessly flying over the tall walls that had stood in his way. The moment he laid down the anguish that had weighed on his shoulders for a lifetime, Edwin hugged Giselle close.

The woman he saved had saved him. Edwin had met his good fortune on an unlucky battlefield where death had just passed him by, a fortune that would give him a new beginning.

—I love you. I love you, Giselle.

The man’s violent heartbeat thumped against Giselle’s chest, which was pinned beneath his body. The man who had been frowning in unfamiliar pleasure and letting out strangled groans along with short breaths during their lovemaking was now wearing a completely serene smile. She had never seen this expression on Edwin Ecclesford’s face.

—I love you…

He repeated the words «I love you» over and over again in a faintly trembling voice. Giselle’s wish—to see Edwin Ecclesford become so obsessed with her that he would come to love the desires he so hated—had finally come true.

—If I hadn’t met you, I would have gone my entire life without knowing this happiness. Thank you for being by my side.

—Thank you…

If this night was happy for him, could she finally stop agonizing over feeling pleasure from a man who had felt pain from sleeping with her? Could she stop agonizing over her role in his rape? Could she now laugh when she recalled their shameful, fake love? Because it had become real.

The firmly closed door opened, and a light entered the dark prison, shining on the crouching prisoner’s heart. Her pent-up sorrow melted away and streamed down the corners of her eyes. The hand that wiped her tears was as warm as always.

—I love you, Giselle.

—I… love you, too.

Now, no sin could ever stand in the way of the words «I love you.»

Edwin Ecclesford passionately welcomed the confession that he would have once found unwelcome. His grateful smile was so bright it melted away the last bit of anguish without a trace. The sprouting seed of love, having met with the spring sun, proudly showed its green head above the ground.

As Lorenz had pointed out, this may not have been our first time. But what does it matter?

Even though they had made love countless times, the only meaningful moment was tonight. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

Their desire for this not to end was unspoken but understood. After a leisurely afterglow, they lay wrapped in each other’s naked bodies, caressing one another. His flushed eyes, which stared intently at Giselle, were also naked, revealing his emotions completely. But wanting to hear it anyway, he asked what he already knew.

—How was it?

Before he could speak, Giselle raised her index finger to his lips, a stern warning.

—»It was good» is disqualified. Describe it in over a hundred words.

Edwin smiled as if a hundred words was a piece of cake and began to share his feelings.

—I felt our souls connect.

—I did, too.

He hadn’t just loathed sex, he had also looked down on it. The act he had believed to be nothing more than a one-sided release of desire was, in fact, an intertwining of souls. When they reached the peak of ecstasy, they were finally released from the loneliness that all human beings are born with and suffer from until the moment they die.

—This is the first time I’ve ever felt so vividly and so happily that I’m alive.

Only after reaching the peak and standing tall above the clouds of anguish did he feel that being alive was a brilliant and beautiful fortune.

—Since I was born, I’ve never felt so vividly that I’m alive. I just found out for the first time that this kind of happiness exists.

Suddenly, she recalled a similar statement made by the other man who had stolen Edwin’s voice. She now understood why he had become so obsessed with Giselle after experiencing climax, unable to keep his resolution to use her only as a means of revenge and then discard her. But understanding didn’t mean she could forgive him.

The sex she had just experienced was a dangerous act that tore at both the body and soul, making it easy to get hurt. Giselle had been forced to go through it, her body and soul completely mutilated. Forgiveness for a rapist was out of the question. Because of tonight, Edwin came to hate the other personality living inside him even more.

—I was born to meet you. It’s a good thing I’m alive.

Who do you think you are?

His calm voice and the hand that had been caressing Giselle’s bare skin stopped moving. The way his Adam’s apple bulged and sank suggested he hadn’t fallen asleep.

Giselle lifted her head from his embrace. The corners of his mouth, which had held a gentle smile all night, had become hard. His mild gaze had become murderously sharp.

—That’s not a hundred words yet. What are you thinking about?

—I’m thinking about how I want to kill a bug.

—You’re lying naked in bed with me, but you’re thinking about another man? You’re an ill-mannered man.

A smile spread across Edwin’s face. The hand that had stopped moving began to caress Giselle’s back again.

The murderous glint in his blue eyes dulled, but they didn’t become as dark as a deep abyss. Not even when Lorenz called him the bug he hated so much.

—That’s strange. Why didn’t he show up again?

—You’re thinking about another man right after sleeping with me. You’re a bad woman.

He playfully nipped at the tip of Giselle’s nose and soothed her with a kiss. When their lips parted, he said something unexpected.

—Don’t worry. He won’t appear.

The man who never said things he couldn’t keep was promising it.

—You can prevent him from taking over your body now?

—At least as long as I’m awake.

Giselle poured out all the questions she had postponed.

—What happened just now? How did you get your body back?

—I don’t know. I don’t know either. What didn’t work before, worked this time.

He hadn’t been thrown into the abyss where all his senses were cut off as usual. He had simply thought, I have to go back, and there he was. The hatch that had always been locked tightly had opened instantly.

Even after he threw the squatter back into his subconscious, the bastard seemed to be struggling to take back his body, but he didn’t win, not even for a moment. Edwin clearly heard the panicked muttering of the other personality.

As Edwin ignored him and made love to the woman he was so obsessed with, the whispers became screams. The one who suffered in agony and the one who enjoyed pleasure had switched places. The taste of revenge, though cheap, was sweet.

But no matter how pleasant, it was just noise mixed with the sweet voice of his lover. Thankfully, the madman’s screams gradually grew fainter. As Edwin became more and more intoxicated with pleasure.

—Was my other personality truly just a twisted manifestation of repressed lust?

If so, would the other personality lose power the more honest he was with his desires? And if it were to disappear completely…

Swoosh.

Giselle twisted her body, her soft flesh sticking to his chest, and her thigh brushed between their tangled legs. Being honest about his desires was so easy now.

—Do you want me to tell you what I’m thinking about now?

She nodded right away without having any idea what he was about to say. Her round eyes, framed by thick eyelashes, were like an innocent lamb’s. He wanted to become a wolf and devour her.

—I’m glad we have two more left.

Edwin lay Giselle down and climbed on top of her. As one time became two, and two became three, Edwin, who had confirmed Giselle’s limits himself, cast away all his fears and became even more passionate. And in the end, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of regret that there were only three.

It was well past midnight, but they were still showering together, only to create more reasons to need to wash. He couldn’t remember how many times each of them had come. He was putting her pajamas on, as he felt responsible since he was the one who undressed her, but his hands clung to her more than they had when he was taking them off.

After he laid her down on the bed, he seemed to have no intention of doing anything more naughty and pulled the blanket over her. Was he not going to get into bed with her? Edwin sat on the edge. He had a bad feeling ever since he put his pants and shirt back on. It seemed he was going to leave once Giselle fell asleep. She grabbed his hand, which was resting on her chest.

—Sleep with me.

The moment Giselle pleaded, a conflict appeared in his loving eyes.

—I want to, but…

Just a little while ago, they were sharing a bed just fine, so why was he hesitating?

—Do you snore?

Edwin’s burst of laughter was so loud it made Loddy’s snoring, which had been as loud and confident as if he owned the place ever since they changed the sheets, stop abruptly.

—I never got beaten up by my classmates in military school, so it’s probably not that.

Come to think of it, Lorenz never snored either.

—If it’s not that, then why are you hesitating?