My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 271

—Ah!

In an instant, she was pulled away. When she regained her senses, she was already lying on the sofa. The man who had been lying there was now on top of her.

Like a parent catching a child misbehaving, he looked at her with a stern expression, his eyes still heavy with sleep. He took the cigarette pack and lighter she was holding like a last morsel of food and unceremoniously confiscated them, tucking them into his pants pocket.

When she pouted, Edwin laughed as if she was adorable and leaned down. Just before his lips met hers, he whispered, —When your mouth feels empty, just think of me.

At that, Giselle instantly transformed into a well-behaved child, and instead of a cigarette, she bit and sucked on his lips. The kiss, of course, didn’t end with just a light peck.

The hand that had been resting beside her head to support his upper body now burrowed into her hair, then traced a line down her neck. Since he no longer needed to hold himself up, his hands were free to explore Giselle’s body. The hand that was fumbling at her waist slipped inside her sweater and began to caress her back.

Below her waist, their legs intertwined. The brush of wool against her bare skin made her body tremble.

This felt completely different from the passionate kisses they had shared every time they made eye contact this month. It was her first time kissing while lying down. Perhaps because of that, their contact felt much more intimate. It felt so close to sex that all they needed to do was take off their clothes.

How far ahead was she getting on her own? Just as she found herself ridiculous, his lips moved away from hers and settled on a place they had never touched before. Maybe she wasn’t the only one getting ahead of herself.

Edwin lingered below her jaw and then left a trail of light kisses down her neck. Was he ready to move on to the next stage? Her breathing quickened as his hot, sticky trail got closer to her chest. She kept wanting to moan from the ticklish sensation, and her hips twisted. She involuntarily squirmed her legs, but she couldn’t close them because Edwin’s knee was wedged between her thighs.

Finally, his lips were blocked by the collar of her dress. Now he would unbutton it. She wanted him to.

At that moment, Giselle remembered something very important she had forgotten.

Her underwear.

The top was no problem, as she wasn’t wearing one. The bottom was a different story. She had bought a pretty pair of panties, but she was wearing the wrong ones. It would have been better to wear nothing than to show him these.

She hoped he would be distracted by other things and wouldn’t even notice her underwear.

But it was a useless worry. Edwin didn’t even get that far; he didn’t unbutton a single button. He only buried his face in her neck and rubbed against it, then lay down beside her, hugging her from behind, and fell back asleep.

What was she thinking about a tired person? If I stayed up all night, my libido would just evaporate.

…….But was it ever there on days when he wasn’t tired?

Even on days when he wasn’t tired, he never seemed interested in anything more than a kiss. She hadn’t even seen him change below the waist.

Does he just not have much of a sex drive? Or is he avoiding it because a previous, unwanted experience was so unpleasant and shocking? Maybe he’s holding back because he’s afraid Giselle might cry again.

I thought I had given him enough signals by not pushing him away.

Still, she didn’t want to explicitly demand it. She felt too guilty to be brazen. Because of their complicated situation, where they were both —sinners— to each other, Giselle paradoxically couldn’t wait to see Edwin Eccleston feel desire for her. Just as she wanted to see him feel love, she wanted to shed the final chain of guilt and be completely free.

But he was only moving a little slower than Giselle’s own impatient heart. The fact that he was now holding her and lying with her was a monumental step forward. His warm breath softly tickled her neck, and the firm chest behind her rose and fell with a steady rhythm. His low breathing was incredibly peaceful.

She decided she wouldn’t move until Edwin woke up. She picked up her book again, but the thrilling mystery wasn’t nearly as captivating as her own cozy romance.

Like chocolate melting from body heat, the hand holding the book dropped. At the same time, Giselle’s eyelids, which were slowly closing, suddenly flew open.

She felt a weight pressing on her butt. It was getting bigger. And hard.

It was a monumental erection.

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His romance was boring, so he chose a comedy movie. Bursts of laughter echoed through the theater, but suddenly a silence fell, as if all the viewers had been sucked into the screen.

It was the moment a sex scene began.

Who would have imagined such an explicit, lewd scene in a comedy? Giselle’s face flushed with heat at the thought of watching someone else’s sex without any preparation.

Edwin must have been shocked, too. The hands that had been teasing her by wrapping around her shoulder, cupping her cheek, or playing with her hair throughout the movie had stopped completely. Giselle glanced up at him and was startled.

Why are you staring at me?

What did it mean for him to gaze so intensely at her while a sex scene was playing out on the screen? She held her breath and waited. The fingers that had been wrapped around her shoulder moved up, tracing a long line across her neck until they reached her chin.

—Your jaw’s going to fall off.

But all Edwin did was push up her chin and close her mouth for her. She was so embarrassed that her mouth had been hanging open while watching someone else’s sex scene. The blush didn’t go away easily, even after the scene was over.

Funny scenes followed again, but the laughter in the theater was much quieter. It was because couples throughout the theater had stopped watching the movie and had started to stick to each other, kissing and biting.

Soon, Edwin saw what was happening, too. He grabbed Giselle’s head, who was looking around at other people’s erotic romance like a child at a zoo, and covered the sides of her eyes with his hands as if she were a racehorse, making her look only at the screen.

Some things never change from when we were kids.

Though I tried to focus on the movie despite the —erotica— unfolding around me, my attention kept getting pulled away when a couple in the row in front of us started making their own movie. Edwin just frowned at first, but when Giselle grumbled, —They should just go get a hotel room,— he kicked the back of the seat.

The man and woman jumped apart and turned to look. The man, who looked younger than Giselle, was in a military uniform. He was at the age when he was full of swagger and believed his fists spoke louder than his brain. He had a menacing expression, as if he was about to teach a lesson to the man who made him look foolish in front of his girlfriend, but as soon as his eyes met Edwin’s, the aggression vanished. He turned his head back to the front without a word.

With the couple in front of them now well-behaved, Edwin relaxed. He wrapped his arm around Giselle and let her rest her head on his shoulder. His lips touched her forehead. His fingertips began to caress her cheek again.

While other men in the theater were making out with their girls during the movie, Edwin was the complete opposite. It was as if he wasn’t the same man who would kiss her every time they made eye contact.

She found it strange, but as she felt his constant touch, she suddenly realized that he, just like the other men, was not interested in the movie but only in the woman.

Giselle turned her head, which was resting on his shoulder, and whispered to her lover, —Edwin.

—Yeah?

A man who was always pleased when his name was called, regardless of the reason, leaned down to rub the tip of his nose against hers. Recently, this would always lead to a kiss, but this time, he kept his lips away.

—Why did you call me?

—You want to kiss, too, don’t you?

—Here?

The moment Giselle nodded, his smooth brow furrowed.

—No. Absolutely not.

—Really?

The man, who had been giving a look of contempt to the couples still attached to each other, gave an accusing look to Giselle. —Have you forgotten what I told you when you were a child? I said you should never date a man who would do that kind of thing to you in front of others. So why would I do it?

She regretted asking and had to listen to the same lecture she’d heard endlessly as a child.

—A guy who acts lewdly toward a woman in front of others doesn’t deserve to be called a man, let alone a human. He’s an animal.

This was a lesson Lorenz should have heard more than Giselle.

—Treating a woman like a whore isn’t love. If you truly love her, you’ll want to treat her like a queen.

Edwin was definitely a man who lived by his beliefs.

So what was this?