My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 268

This is going to drive away all my sleep. Giselle’s eyes flew open, and she whipped her head around to face the pervert above her.

—Do you want it that badly?

The guy nodded, not just once, but like a bobblehead dog with a spring for a neck.

—Why don’t you go find my panties in a drawer or the laundry basket and have some fun on your own? Can you leave me alone?

—Give me the ones you’re wearing.

—No, they’re expensive.

—I won’t get them dirty.

—Why go to all that trouble? Just pick an old pair and do whatever you want. Just wash them when you’re done. You can even throw them out. I’m not teasing, I’m serious.

If only he would let her sleep, she wouldn’t care what perverted things he did with her underwear, but Lorentz wouldn’t leave the dressing room.

—So you’re giving me permission to come while looking at your face?

Giselle heard the sound of a belt buckle unfastening and a zipper coming down from below his waist. She shot up and scrambled out from under the blanket.

—Ah, just get out, please!

She threw the blanket over him and started punching his back indiscriminately. It was wide and easy to hit, and it was even better that she couldn’t see his face. As Giselle furiously vented, the giant blanket lump shook and he chuckled.

This guy is doing this on purpose.

She thought it was strange that he kept making obscene jokes and pestering her even though he knew there was no way she would ever sleep with him. He clearly had another motive.

—Are you wide awake now, pretty girl? Then I’ll make you breakfast.

Was he feeling a sense of crisis because Edwin offered to make her stew?

All he could do to make breakfast was put bread in the toaster and take jam and ham out of the fridge. The only thing you could call —cooking— was the eggs, and he couldn’t boil them properly, so they all cracked and turned into a grotesque poached mess.

She grumpily chewed her bread, glaring at him, but he just propped his chin on his hand and watched her with a pleased smile. He was less like a man content to just watch his lover eat, and more like a child playing house.

—What should we do today?

He was like how Loddy was when Giselle would wake up.

—Why are you so happy?

He had just watched the woman he liked kissing another man, and she wouldn’t do anything with him. So he shouldn’t have anything to be happy about lately.

—Playing with you is the most fun.

—Do you have anyone else to play with besides me?

—No.

He answered with a smile, but there was no cheerfulness in his voice. She had dug into a sore spot again. She swore she hadn’t meant to do it on purpose. Giselle was about to bring her coffee cup to her mouth but set it down instead, leaning toward the man sitting across from her.

—Lorentz, why don’t you try making some friends besides me? As long as they don’t know Edwin or anyone he knows, you can be friends with them using your own name.

—’Nice to meet you, Lorentz. What’s your last name? Why is your name like that? Are you an immigrant? Where are you from? What’s your job? Where do you live?’

As Lorentz began to jeer cheerfully, Giselle’s lips clamped shut. To make a friend, you have to talk about the path your life has taken so far. Of course, you could make it up, but can an friendship built on lies truly be genuine?

—Well… in that case, there’s a way to get along with people who already know who you are.

‘Who? Royce? Dawson? Your doctor?’ She expected him to laugh and retort like this, but she got an unexpected answer instead.

—I tried.

—You did?

The fact that he had not only thought about getting along with people other than Giselle but also tried to do it was quite encouraging.

—What happened?

—They all treated me like a murderous kidnapper who forcibly abducted them. They’d either monitor me and humor me, or they’d be openly wary of me.

—Hmm… well, you can’t help that, considering what you did.

—But you were the only one who wasn’t afraid of me and saw me as a person, not a mental illness that the respected Duke had developed.

This must be what it feels like when a stray dog follows you, you play with it, and then you can’t bring yourself to chase it away. Giselle couldn’t ignore Lorentz’s question.

—It’s too cold and annoying to go out. I’m too tired to dance because I couldn’t sleep because of you. We have to take the decorations off the Christmas tree; want to do that with me?

Despite this being a declaration that she was going to put him to work, he nodded. She thought that now that they had decided what to do, they could eat in peace, but he didn’t even give her a moment to sip her coffee before he asked something else.

—By the way, where did the potted plant I gave you go?

He hadn’t missed the fact that the aster plant had disappeared from the kitchen windowsill.

—I put it in the garden.

—Why? It’s cold out.

Is a flower a person?

—Asters are resistant to the cold. Don’t worry, it won’t freeze to death.

When it was blooming, it was at least fun to look at, but after all the flowers were gone, it became an annoying burden that she couldn’t forget to water. She figured it would be better for both the busy human and the flower’s survival to put it outside since it rains a lot in the winter.

Lorentz opened the window, looked out into the backyard, and whined.

—It’s all dried up.

—What are you talking about, you city boy? It’s hibernating because it’s winter.

The fact that she hadn’t cut off the dead flowers made it look like it was dead. When Giselle told him it was still alive, he obediently returned to his seat, but the expression on his face was incredibly sad.

As if he had been kicked out of the house.

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The next day, on her way to work, Giselle was about to leave after dropping Loddy off at the Duke’s mansion as usual when the butler stopped her.

—The Duke would like to see you for a moment.

Did he have something to say?

—Where is he?

—He’s in his bedroom.

She went up to the second floor and knocked on the bedroom door, which was open a crack.

—Giselle?

—Yes.

—Come in.

She opened the door. His voice had seemed far away for a reason. There was no one in the bedroom.

Feeling her cheeks flush as she stepped into a perfectly private space, Giselle uncharacteristically hesitated and walked across the bedroom. When she reached the dressing room, the man standing in front of a full-length mirror on one side of the wall was buttoning his shirt. He stopped, turned to her, and his lips curved into a loose smile.

—Good morning. Did you sleep well last night?

—…

—What’s wrong?

—Yes, I slept well. Good morning.

Giselle quickly looked up from his unbuttoned shirt and greeted him.

Noticing the reason for her delayed response, Edwin gazed at her with a strange look in his eyes. Giselle pretended not to know and asked, —Did you get a bruise where I kicked you yesterday? as if that was why she had been looking at his bare chest. Edwin bit his lower lip and narrowed his eyes with a hint of a smile. It was an old habit he’d developed as a child when telling a cute lie; since he couldn’t bite Giselle, he would bite his own lip instead.

—Want me to show you?

—No. What do you need to see me about so early in the morning?

Of course, a shallow tactic wouldn’t work on the commander of a deception operation. Giselle quickly changed the subject.

—You’re not even at work yet, and you’re already treating me like a superior you want to escape from.

The man, who had buttoned his shirt all the way up to his neck, put on a black tie and gestured forward with a look.

—I won’t eat you. Don’t just stand there; come here.

Giselle slowly approached, feigning reluctance, and leaned against the wall beside the mirror. Edwin tied his tie while looking at Giselle, not the mirror. It must have been second nature to him because his movements were unhesitating even without looking.

Her cheeks felt tingly, and his lingering gaze was likely to blame. The tip of her nose felt ticklish, probably from the stronger-than-usual scent of soap. He was so properly dressed, but she didn’t know where to look.

—So, what is it that you want?

—Why are you acting like you want to run away from me?

—It’s just a little awkward being here.

—What? You came in just fine last time.

‘Because you weren’t standing here smelling like you’d just had a shower and getting dressed,’ she wanted to say. But that was a little too honest.

—That was at night, so no one saw me enter a man’s bedroom. Today, the butler sent me here.

Anyone who didn’t know their relationship might think it was strange.

—Do the people who work at the Duke’s mansion know about us?

—Not yet. But if you came out of my bedroom with your lipstick smudged, they might, don’t you think?

In the moment her eyes widened in surprise, Edwin yanked the knot of his tie toward his collar and took a big step toward Giselle.

The reason this man had summoned her to his bedroom so early in the morning was for the kiss they hadn’t shared when the year changed. He couldn’t even wait until the weekend, or even tonight.

By the time she realized what was happening, the distance between them had already disappeared until their bodies were nearly touching. Edwin trapped her against the wall with his arms, as if she were a swift, fleeing prey, and licked his lower lip with the tip of his tongue like a hungry beast.

—Did you believe me when I said I wouldn’t eat you? How naive.

—Only a naive man would fail to realize that I came in here wanting to be eaten.

At Giselle’s provocative retort, he lost his playful smile and whispered with a groan,

—You’re going to regret saying that.

As soon as he made his prediction that he was going to give her a kiss that was far from innocent, he lunged for her lips like he was truly going to devour her. Giselle’s eyes didn’t fly open because the force with which he pushed and sucked was so different from last time.