My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 262

Giselle burst into laughter before she could stop herself and quickly covered her mouth. Martin, who was sitting across the aisle, was glaring at them, and her gaze felt sharp.

—What if someone saw that?

She whispered softly, just for Edwin to hear, and tore out the ruined crossword puzzle page from the magazine. The small piece of paper, folded neatly twice, went into Giselle’s wallet.

They were finally alone after arriving in Richmond and everyone had dispersed. In the car on their way to Magnolia Terrace to pick up Roddy, Giselle maintained an uncomfortable silence, and Edwin finally spoke up.

—Are you still mad? This isn’t fair. I didn’t do anything wrong.

Now, whether I look like a monster or not, I shouldn’t keep it to myself anymore. After all, he says it thrills him when I act like a monster, right? Even Giselle thought the reason for her irritation was ugly and childish, but she blurted it out anyway.

—You used your looks to get what you wanted.

—What?

—You’d hate it if I used my looks.

—Of course, I would. But when did I ever use my looks to…

Edwin had never tried to charm or seduce Martin.

—Just showing your face is using your looks. From now on, don’t come to the field. No, don’t even come out of your office.

She blurted out the words that came to mind and realized how ridiculous they sounded. How could I get more and more childish the more I talk?

As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough, Edwin burst into a huge laugh, and her face grew hot. Because he couldn’t stop laughing, even wiping tears from his eyes, her hot face quickly became furious.

—Why are you laughing? Is it funny that I’m acting like a crazy woman?

—Because I’m happy. I had my suspicions from the moment you said I couldn’t kiss other women…

When did he remember that? Giselle’s face flushed again.

—I’m happy you’re showing me your heart, too.

…See, I’m always the one at a disadvantage with these kinds of conversations.

As soon as Edwin stopped the car in front of her house, Giselle didn’t wait for him to open the door and got out, heading for the front door.

—Loddy’s mother, you forgot your son.

—Ah.

When she went back, he was smiling as if her absentminded mistake amused him, and he helped the dog out of the back seat. Giselle quickly snatched the leash and hurried toward the house. The sound of his dress shoes followed her at a leisurely pace.

She took out her key and tried to put it in the front door lock, but the cursed blackout made it hard to see, and she kept fumbling. In that time, the man, who had come right up behind her, wrapped his arms around her. Her back was pressed against his chest, and his excited breath tickled her cheek.

He’s acting like Lorenz. She turned her head and met his gaze, which she had been avoiding until now. In the darkness, his eyes shone brightly, and the sincere affection they transparently revealed was once again created in a voice as rich and sweet as chocolate.

—I love you.

The words that passed her ear in a fleeting moment created a tremor in her heart that would never die down. The walls of her heart trembled.

Thump-thump.

Her ears rang with the beat, and the corners of her lips curled up on their own. As a result, his lips gently touched her puffed-up cheek.

—I know you love me, too.

Giselle’s smiling lips puckered up at his teasing whisper. Every time he showed a confidence she could never dare to possess, the walls of her heart would harden without fail.

—I still hate you, so what love are you talking about?

—It’s possible to love someone even if you hate them.

That wasn’t wrong, but was it true for Giselle, too? What kind of feeling was it when she loved hearing him say he loved her, but she didn’t want to say it back?

—Even love-hate is love, isn’t it?

—You must be having a good dream. Time to wake up.

A laugh scattered across her cheek with his warm breath. The arms wrapped around Giselle tightened. But with his mouth, he was more relaxed than his body.

—I like this, too. Take your time and enjoy making me wait.

She had only thought he was pushing her feelings and backing down when she wouldn’t give in.

—But when you get curious about how I’ll kiss the woman I love, what my sleeping habits are, and how I’ll wake you up in the morning after we’ve slept in the same bed, just give in.

The reason she hadn’t wanted to move past this ambiguous stage was that she could already fully enjoy the privileges of being a couple with Edwin. From dating to fighting over other people.

Of course, that hadn’t yet included passionate physical affection or sharing a bed. This man was precisely targeting the gap that hadn’t been filled. With just a few words, he made her want to overcome the laziness that came from being satiated.

—Because I’m curious.

And he confessed, with the implication that he didn’t know these things himself, that he had saved all those moments just for Giselle.

Edwin Eccleston was a master of psychological warfare.

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Ding-dong.

The doorbell rang at Magnolia Terrace, early in the morning. Just as two pieces of toast popped out of the toaster, Giselle quickly took them out and went to the front door. When she opened it, a handsome man with his arms full of boxes and packages smiled brightly, his teeth as white as the falling snow.

—Merry Christmas, Giselle.

The Santa in a suit stepped into Giselle’s house and went straight to the living room. As he placed his gifts under the tall Christmas tree, he asked how her holiday had been.

—Did anything happen yesterday?

He was asking because she had spent Christmas Eve with Lorenz.

The question of who would spend Christmas with Giselle had been a hot topic for a month. Edwin hadn’t said anything, but he clearly thought it would be him. This was evidenced by Lorenz’s desperation, as he used sweet talk and even tried to act pathetic to persuade Giselle.

Giselle was always happy to donate money and goods to charity around Christmas, but she had no intention of giving up her entire special day to a pathetic person. So she’d used Christmas Eve as bait to tempt him instead.

—You’re from Konstanz, aren’t you? So let’s celebrate Christmas on the 24th, the Konstanz way.

—Why would I be from Konstanz?

—You would be if you were born there. That’s why I even gave you a Konstanz name.

Of course, her little trick didn’t work, and it only revealed that Giselle had chosen Edwin.

—If we only follow Mercian tradition, you won’t be here when I open my gifts. You won’t get to have me all to yourself.

When she finally took a firm stance, Lorenz quietly backed down. For someone who had been so disappointed, he had been childishly excited all day yesterday and had left very satisfied. Since he didn’t get on her nerves, Giselle had a fun time, too.

—I guess Lorenz didn’t brag?

—He’s keeping it a secret. I guess he had such a good time that he doesn’t want to show me?

Does he think we had some kind of sweet time without him? When he gets too jealous, it makes Giselle think that this man is the same as that other man.

—Of course. I don’t know how many times we clinked our wine glasses. What do you think we clinked next after we got drunk?

No sooner had she made the suspicious hint than Edwin’s face lost its smile.

—Cigarettes.

The moment he realized he had fallen into a trap, his neck turned red.

—Want me to tell you more? All day today?

—Sorry. I won’t ask again. What about breakfast? Is there anything I can do?

After they ate a breakfast that was humble by the Duke’s standards but extravagant by Giselle’s, they sat in front of the tree and opened the gifts. When Giselle opened the first package Edwin handed her, she was so surprised she couldn’t speak, then she burst out laughing.

—I want someone to knit me pretty socks for Christmas, too.

This was just a passing remark, and he actually believed it and remembered it? These men, really.

Actually, Lorenz had also given her ten pairs of hand-knitted socks yesterday, just like Edwin. She had been touched, but now she was taking it back. It was clear Lorenz had stolen Edwin’s gift idea.

I thought it was a gift for me, but he just wanted to get one over on his nemesis. I’m disappointed.

I hope Lorenz, behind those blue eyes, understands why I’m giving him a look.

Shut up and listen to me, you slick jerk. If you don’t want to hear the word ‘disappointed’ from my lips.

Giselle’s eyes widened as if she had never received a similar gift yesterday, and she held up a pair of socks and asked.

—You didn’t knit these yourself, did you? You can’t knit.

—I learned just now.

I wanted to protect that pleased smile.

—Thank you, Edwin. They’re so pretty and precious, how can I even wear them?

—If they wear out, I’ll knit you new ones, so wear them all you want.

Edwin took an ivory-colored sock with little red hearts embroidered around the ankle out of the box. He knelt down and held out his hand to Giselle, who was sitting on the carpet.

…Is he going to put the socks on her?