My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 251
—If the problem is the other person, I can just stop seeing him, but… it’s not like that, and I feel so helpless.
So this is what you’ve been worrying about. Edwin cupped Giselle’s face, which had a bitter smile that was slowly fading, and stroked it.
—Thank you for being honest with me.
Showing your flaws or worries and relying on others is not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, it was proof of strength.
He felt a sudden rush of emotion. The girl who had only hidden her true feelings to protect her pride and their relationship had grown into an adult strong enough to talk about uncomfortable things so openly.
As always, he was happy that Giselle was relying on him, and his heart pounded at the thought that contemplating the next step in their relationship meant her heart was opening up. So, even after hearing that she didn’t want to kiss, he felt closer to her, not farther away.
—Giselle, it’s okay if our first kiss isn’t entirely happy. It’s just one of the countless kisses we’ll share in the future.
Giselle pursed her lips. Just one? Isn’t a first kiss supposed to be a special memory that lasts a lifetime? But for Giselle, it had only been a mistake she wanted to forget.
Does this man not understand my desperation for the first kiss we share, a kiss without any deception, based only on love, to be a good memory? Giselle’s eyes, which had been narrowing, widened at his next words.
—What if we assume we’ll kiss ten times a day?
—That many…?
—I cut that in half.
Giselle’s mouth dropped open.
—That’s 3,650 times a year. In 10 years, that’s over 36,000 times. It means we’ll kiss at least 100,000 times in our lives. Do you really think all of those kisses will be uncomfortable?
Giselle burst into laughter at the ridiculous calculation. At the same time, she couldn’t help but nod, as it was a valid point. Edwin’s logic was fundamentally no different from what Giselle had realized when she called his name.
Just like with his name, maybe a kiss will be okay if I just go for it. Even if it’s not, the more they do it, the more the bad memories will fade, buried by the good ones. Not just kisses, but every moment of their love. And perhaps she would one day be able to look back on her past self and laugh, thinking how young she was.
—Thank you. I’m glad I told you. Thinking about it like that makes my heart feel lighter.
Giselle, who had been smiling radiantly like a person who had finally been relieved of a great burden, suddenly firmed her expression and held up her index finger in front of Edwin’s eyes.
—Of course, that doesn’t mean I want to kiss right now.
—I’ll wait until you’re ready. The problem is that the other guy won’t.
I just hope that guy will consider Giselle’s feelings. Am I asking for too much? If he was the root cause of her aversion to kissing, he should be even more restrained, but that guy couldn’t possibly have such a sense of shame.
Yeah, I’m asking for too much.
—If he ever comes at you again, don’t tolerate it. Hit him, kick him, or poke his eyes out. I don’t care if you’re in front of other people. I’ve already talked to the butler, so call him if you need to.
At his earnest advice, Giselle recalled what Lorenz had said that morning when she had left Loddy at the Eccleston manor.
—By the way, is it true that you’ve agreed to take turns dating from now on?
That was why he said it was his turn today and asked her to have dinner with him after work. He kept bothering her about a restaurant reservation even though she was busy with work, so she told him they should eat at the Eccleston manor to avoid the embarrassment of him crying again. But as time went on, she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been tricked into making plans.
—Agreed?
Edwin’s eyes sharpened.
—Don’t agreements require the mutual consent of two equals?
The correct answer was that the person who could unilaterally take over his body had forced her to agree by using threats.
—Even though I could just steal every one of your dates, I’m being considerate of you, so you should be thankful.
I want to kill him. Even though she had steeled herself for this, she was so disgusted it was useless.
The reality was once again bleak. He could freely enter and exit the consciousness, while she couldn’t regain control unless he was weak or off guard, and she had no means of not being taken over. She even began to feel the same sense of powerlessness as in the early days when that devil first appeared and wreaked havoc.
—I’ll steal your heart, you smug bastard, and then you have the nerve to call me a thief?
That swindler didn’t just slander him yesterday; he also played games to try and sway Giselle’s heart.
—Giselle, don’t feel pity for him. He’s not pitiful, and you have no reason to feel sorry for him. That devious bastard is just acting.
—I know.
—Don’t believe anything he says about me, either.
—Don’t worry. I told you yesterday I wouldn’t.
—But you said he had a point?
Giselle playfully stuck her tongue out a little and smiled slyly.
—Well… you know, I did feel like he had a point.
—If you felt that way, I’m sorry. I’ll do better in the future.
—You don’t need to apologize, but I’m surprised you can do better than you’re doing now.
Her words, which meant he was already good enough, made a smile slowly return to the man’s face. But it didn’t last long.
—Ha…
He let out a deep sigh, covered his eyes with one hand again, and leaned his head back against the sofa. Giselle looked at his throat, which was moving up and down repeatedly, and asked.
—What’s wrong? What are you thinking about?
—I wish I was shameless and had no dignity, so I could cry in front of you, too.
—Then cry.
Is now the time to give him a command? She thought since she had seen Lorenz weeping with that face, it wouldn’t be much of a shock. It was a perfect misconception.
—I cried yesterday.
—…What?
Just the thought of him crying alone, when she wasn’t there, was a huge shock.
He must have been more upset than she had imagined, having to watch his genuine feelings be twisted in front of the woman he loved, powerless to even refute it. Now, Giselle’s heart ached as if it were being ripped apart.
—Edwin.
—Hmm?
He answered promptly, removed his hand, and looked at Giselle. Just hearing his name seemed to have cheered Edwin up, but Giselle wasn’t there yet.
—Should I hug you?
A soft smile spread across his face, which had only been subtly smiling until now. But for some reason, he erased it and pretended he hadn’t heard.
—No, I don’t want to be called a thief again.
He didn’t seem to refuse it because she had hugged Lorenz first, but rather because there was something else he wanted.
—Then what should I do so you won’t be accused of being a thief?
At her quick-witted question, Edwin bit his lower lip, which was curving up, then let slip what he wanted in a passing tone.
—A kiss on the cheek, or something.
Giselle couldn’t help but burst into laughter.
—You’re not a thief, but you’re certainly devious, just like someone else I know.
—Devious? This is modest and wholesome.
Now that she thought about it, the man had kissed Giselle all week, but she had never kissed him first. Because she didn’t want to. Until now.
When she nodded, Edwin, who had been leaning back on the sofa, sat up and leaned his head toward Giselle. Why is he trying to kiss me first when he asked me to? However, he stopped right in front of her face and turned his head.
He’s offering his cheek himself.
Giselle’s lips, which had been curved up from her constant laughter, managed to form a perfect circle and she pressed them to Edwin’s cheek. A short sigh of bliss escaped from him.
She suddenly felt shy and quickly pulled her lips away. When she looked up and saw Edwin’s expression, her eyes widened. She had expected him to be smiling, but why was he gritting his teeth as if he were furious? When
Giselle tilted her head, he groaned, clutching his deeply furrowed brow.
—That bastard stole it.
Lorenz had appeared in that split second and snatched a kiss that wasn’t his to take.
—You thief!
A curse word flew out of Giselle’s mouth.
—If you show up again before dinner, our plans for today are canceled.
What’s the point of being able to take over his body if Giselle doesn’t show up? The threat must have worked, as he didn’t appear for a single moment while Giselle kissed Edwin’s cheek once, twice, and a third time.
Did I press too hard? If the Director of Intelligence walked around with red lipstick marks on his face, Army headquarters would be in an uproar.
He watched with eyes full of affection as Giselle was engrossed in rubbing away the lipstick marks with her hand. The moment she pulled her hand away, he let out a languid sigh and pulled her into a hug. Because of that,
Giselle ended up wrapping her arms around Edwin’s shoulders.
A sudden sense of déjà vu washed over her, and she realized why the man who had asked for a kiss had offered his cheek first.
Asure: Enjoy the reading, I hope it makes sense… have a great Saturday.
Madara Info
Madara stands as a beacon for those desiring to craft a captivating online comic and manga reading platform on WordPress
For custom work request, please send email to wpstylish(at)gmail(dot)com
Ananas
Thank you so much!
Always on the position waiting for the update🤩