My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 249

—Natalia, I can’t live without you. If you’ll just love me, I’ll become your dog.

Giselle blinked her eyes wide, surprised by the man who clung to her, embracing her tightly.

—They say if you say things like that, you’re a bad guy.

However, he smiled a knowing smile as if he had received a compliment.

—That’s right. I’m a bad guy. But I know what you want better than any other man.

—I don’t know.

—A true reversal of a dog and its owner. The satisfying pleasure that comes from that power. The sense of liberation that comes from the explosion of pent-up emotions. Don’t you also crave the feelings that I tried to feel by getting revenge on Edwin Eccleston?

—I have no intention of getting revenge on that man like you do.

—Listen to me, no matter who the target is, your desires and mine are equally base. Admit it. You’re not just pure and righteous.

When Lorenz used her past in the training camp as an example—where she would take revenge to an even greater extent using wrong methods if she was wronged—Giselle couldn’t argue.

—How suffocating must Edwin Eccleston’s thorough righteousness be? In those moments, I’ll act as cowardly and cunning as you, so I can give you some breathing room.

—I don’t know what you’re talking about.

—No, you do. When I clung to you, you felt a little proud, didn’t you? When I threw away my pride and acted like a dog in front of you, you felt as if you were holding a knife to my neck and sitting on a throne.

—…….

—See? Only I understand your desires and can give you what you want.

Giselle had wondered why Lorenz was so submissive today, but he must have chosen this low-status behavior as a tactic to win against Edwin Eccleston and win her love. He planned to use the very thing he had sworn never to do as a love rival as his own weapon, exploiting the gap.

To be honest, it was thrilling when this man clung to her desperately, with tears in his eyes. It was also amusing when he was acting so cute.

—But his Lordship the Duke is a man who values his noble dignity and luxurious righteousness above all else, so he will never give in to your desires.

However, the slander, which was starting all over again, dampened her fun.

—Lorenz, no matter how much sense you make, if your only purpose is to damage your rival’s reputation, you’ll just lose my trust. It doesn’t look like you’re in love with me; it looks like you’re using me to sabotage Edwin Eccleston because you can’t stand to see him happy. You’ve already done that before.

—That’s not true. Never.

—If you feel it’s unfair, then act in a way that doesn’t make me misunderstand. Do you believe you can’t win my heart unless you tear down and push away another man? Are you that insecure?

—Then what about Edwin Eccleston? That bastard was the one who tore me down first.

—See? You’re doing it again.

He put on an innocent expression and tried to open his mouth again, but Giselle yawned openly and covered her mouth.

—Ah, this is boring.

Only then did his mouth finally stay shut.

—Lorenz, I guess you act like this because you’ve never been on a proper date, but I can forgive a fun man, but a boring man is sentenced to death.

—Let’s go on a date. I’ll be fun.

—Only if you act like my loyal dog instead of a fighting dog that bites other men.

Despite being explicitly treated like a dog, he nodded his head instantly and held her two hands tightly.

—Are you giving me a chance, too?

—Yes, I will.

A chance for my revenge.

The man, who smiled as happily as a puppy that had found its owner, would come to regret walking into this trap himself.

She had wished for Lorenz to live a life that wasn’t lonely or painful, but as of this moment, that wish was void. That was just the last bit of mercy she had bestowed upon someone who would one day go their separate ways.

If she couldn’t forget her past with Edwin Eccleston and her own mistakes, then Lorenz’s sins, which were the root cause of all that calamity, couldn’t be undone either.

You ignited the pain of my one-sided love; how dare you shamelessly pass the buck to another man and try to escape?

The man who had driven her into hell once again deeply intruded upon her heart. The resentment that had been settled at the bottom, as if dead, stirred violently. A cloudy grudge took hold in her heart. Lorenz had seen right through Giselle.

—A true reversal of a dog and its owner. The satisfying pleasure that comes from that power. The sense of liberation that comes from the explosion of pent-up emotions. Don’t you also crave the feelings that I tried to feel by getting revenge on Edwin Eccleston?

Yes, I crave it now. Shall I feel it through you? Because, as you said, I’m actually a base person.

That bitch from long ago will use you like a dog. From now on, you’re the one who will be reduced to a means of revenge. You’ll also taste the putrid dirt of the hell I was trapped in. You played with my love, so you have nothing to say if your love becomes my toy, right? Even if I break it into pieces and never return it.

This, too, was a new power that Giselle had gained.

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Major Hawkins, who had been called in by the Director, returned exhausted in less than an hour. He then called for Giselle, who was in the middle of writing a report on the movements of the double agents she was in charge of.

—Lieutenant Bishop, the Director has summoned you.

…….Me? No way, is it my turn to get my soul ripped out? No, I’m just a junior officer in the operations team, so isn’t it the duty of people who earn more than me to get chewed out? Without even voicing her impudent thoughts, her superior, who seemed to have read them from Giselle’s expression, narrowed his eyes and informed her of the purpose of the summons.

—He says there’s new intelligence.

Ah, news about Nico. Giselle put down her report and quickly headed to the Director’s office.

—You called for me, Director?

He had called Giselle in, but was in the middle of a phone call. Smiling apologetically with his eyes, he gestured toward the chair in front of his desk. When she did as she was told and sat down, he slid a file across to her.

To give it to her to read without any preamble or hesitation must mean it was good news.

Picking up and opening the file, what Giselle had expected was a letter written by her brother or a photo of him. It was possible for the Konstanz army to send such things through a third country to hold onto the spy Giselle Bishop.

Nicholas Rudnik’s Location and Movement Report, First Report

However, what Giselle was faced with was news she had longed for but had not expected.

My goodness, our spies and intelligence agents are truly amazing.

The agents who had infiltrated Konstanz and the local intelligence sources had personally confirmed her brother’s life and whereabouts with their own eyes.

The report stated that a guest named Nicholas Richter was living at the home of Lieutenant General Edelmann, Konstanz Army’s Director of Intelligence, and his appearance matched the recent photo of her brother that had been sent from Konstanz about a month ago.

After observing him from a hidden position and getting testimonies from his employees, they found that he had been staying at the general’s house for nearly 10 years, and he was more like a captive prisoner than a guest, unable to go out alone without surveillance disguised as a bodyguard.

Still, it seemed he wasn’t being treated harshly. In a photo taken by an intelligence agent, Nico was smiling brightly while drinking coffee at a cafe with a young woman his age. The name of the woman written on the back of the photo was Frida Edelmann. Giselle felt relieved to know that he was on familiar terms with the guard’s daughter.

It’s my brother.

His smile was a spitting image of their mother’s. Giselle gazed at the photo for a long time, then closed the file and placed it back on the desk. Even while he was engaged in a long, drawn-out negotiation with the person on the other end of the line, with the receiver to one ear, the man who had been constantly checking Giselle’s expression followed her with his gaze as she stood up, tilting his head as if asking if she was already done looking.

Giselle walked halfway around the desk and stood behind him. She embraced the man from behind, who was about to turn his chair to face her. The deep voice that had been flowing without a hitch regardless of what the person on the phone was saying, suddenly cut off in the middle of a word.

After clearing his throat, the conversation continued as if nothing had happened, but the rise and fall of the chest where Giselle’s hands were resting was uneven. Giselle wanted him not to be so shocked that he would forget his words again, so she put her lips to his other ear and whispered.

—Edwin, thank you. I don’t like saying thank you, but please let me say it this time.

Who would track down a Rozelle boy soldier in an enemy country for a junior officer? If the man, for whom Giselle’s happiness was his own, hadn’t been the head of the intelligence agency, she would have had to worry about the whereabouts of her last remaining family member until the end of the war, and perhaps long after that.

Shouldn’t she at least call the name of the hero who had relieved her of her worries?

She called his name as a reward with this thought. It took a certain resolve, as her past mistakes might torment her again, but she only felt a little embarrassed. Perhaps if she called his name not just once, but two, three, a hundred times, the memory filled with regret might naturally fade and become faint.

So, while she was confident it wouldn’t happen, even if she never got to call this name again starting tomorrow, this moment today would forever remain a cherished memory embroidered with affection.