My Beloved, Whom I Desire to Kill - 240
As they finished their conversation and stepped outside, the autumn rain continued to patter on the quiet night streets.
The man opened his umbrella, and without a moment’s hesitation, Giselle stepped under it. As if it were the most natural thing in the world, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close so their bodies were touching, and they began to walk. The spot where his hand rested sent a jolt through her. It wasn’t an unwelcome feeling anymore.
—Wait.
As they walked side by side toward the car parked on the street, the man, who had a uselessly good memory, brought up the very topic Giselle had hoped he would forget.
—What was it you wanted to say to me?
—That we should keep our distance from each other.
Asking to keep a distance while practically glued together—the disconnect between their words and actions was so funny. The man beside her initially stiffened, but in the end, he broke into a laugh that mirrored hers.
—No need for that anymore, is there? I’ve saved you the trouble.
Good heavens, she thought. She could see now where Lorenz’s audacity came from.
—But why did you want to push me away?
In his eyes, there was not only tension but also a subtle hint of excitement. Had he already guessed the right answer?
—We’re too close, people will misunderstand our relationship.
—It’s not a misunderstanding anymore, so it’s fine, right?
—You’re truly shameless…
‘My heart has started to flutter for you again.’
Giselle would never admit the truth out loud. Not yet. She wasn’t an —easy— woman anymore.
She couldn’t help but feel relieved that she hadn’t just been swayed by his meaningless kindness and fallen into a hopeless one-sided love. Instead, he had deliberately set out to seduce her. And what a turn of events this was.
In the car on the way home, Giselle scrutinized the man behind the wheel again, as if he were a complete stranger, before asking,
—So you got dressed up like this just for me?
—That’s right.
—I can’t believe it…
She was so flabbergasted, a laugh escaped her lips.
—Why? Do I look like a clown? Is it tacky?
The thought that a man with a face that would look sophisticated even in a clown costume could worry about such a thing was truly absurd.
—No, it suits you. You look lively for the first time in a while, and you look like you’re my age. I like it.
He pursed his lips, but a proud smile was impossible to hide. It was so funny that to keep from laughing, Giselle had to bite her own lip.
—Then what’s so unbelievable?
Edwin Eccleston was a man who simply kept his appearance neat and tidy; he wasn’t someone who put effort into his looks to highlight his charm. Why would he? He was a handsome man who didn’t need to.
But for a man like him to put effort into his appearance just to impress a woman—and that woman was her?
—Seriously… I still can’t believe it…
—I’ll make you believe me.
As it turned out, the elaborate effort Edwin Eccleston had made for their date today wasn’t limited to his attire.
—A good joke to tell when conversation dies down. The first one…
As she was about to get out of the car, which had stopped in front of her house, he held her back. He began to read her a joke his secretary had prepared for the date, insisting she listen to it out of respect for the man’s hard work. It was quite funny. No, actually, the fact that a man like him was reading a prepared joke like a fumbling novice on his first date was so amusing that she was disappointed when the joke was over.
—What’s the second one?
—You’ll hear that on our next date. It’s my capital, my bait. I have to save it.
He truly only told her one, then carefully folded the paper and put it back in his pocket. That, too, was so funny. The haughty mindset she had built up, vowing not to be an easy woman anymore, had completely crumbled as he escorted her to her front door.
It was time to say goodbye. Just like any other man, he was about to make plans for their next meeting before they parted ways…
—How about we commute to work together tomorrow?
A man who wanted to meet early in the morning was a first in Giselle’s dating history.
—Just bring Loddy over as soon as you wake up. You can leave the dog with me, we can have breakfast, and then go to work in my car. It’ll be convenient.
It was true that it was convenient, and she was tempted, but it was practically a proposal to live together, minus sleeping. It was obvious he would suggest they commute home together and have dinner at his place too.
—We aren’t that serious yet, Your Grace.
—Were we that serious back then, when we used to eat breakfast together every morning?
His logic—that they used to live together, so why hesitate now—wouldn’t work. At least not today.
—I have somewhere to go after work. I’ll need my car.
—Is it somewhere I can’t take you?
—I’m meeting Howard. I hope you’re not planning on following me there.
Hearing another man’s name made him frown, but then he began to smile.
—You’re meeting with him to break up now that you’re seeing me. Yes, that’s the polite thing to do.
His shamelessness almost made her laugh again. Giselle hardened her expression and adopted the coldest look she could muster.
—This politeness is for Howard. It doesn’t mean I’ve agreed to be your lover, so please don’t misunderstand.
—The fact that you’ve chosen me is an honor that brightens my dark life, Miss Bishop.
He rested his arm on the front door behind her and leaned his face closer. She thought he was going to kiss her, but…
—Don’t meet anywhere with a lot of people, and don’t stay out too late. Don’t drink alcohol. And if he’s rude to you in any way…
Why was a nagging old man suddenly emerging from him? When she glared at him, his advice stopped short.
—Is a nagging man unattractive?
—Do you think so?
He gave an awkward laugh and stretched his hand, which had been in his pocket, toward Giselle.
—When you’re done with him…
His firm but gentle palm caressed Giselle’s cheek. Their faces slowly drew closer, close enough for her to feel the warmth of his breath.
—Will you come and see me?
Good heavens. —Come and see me. Giselle made a futile effort to hide the smile she couldn’t suppress and gave a small, reluctant nod.
—Sleep well, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
His fingertips, which had left her cheek, touched her shoulder, then trailed down her arm. Even though her clothes weren’t thin, the skin beneath her shirt tingled and flushed. When his hand reached her wrist, he lifted her hand up, bringing it between his face and hers.
This put her in a position where she was covering her mouth. Her eyes, which had been blinking in confusion, widened the moment he kissed the back of her hand.
With only one hand separating them, the hand-kiss as they held eye contact and their breaths mingled created the illusion that he was kissing her lips. When his warm, soft skin brushed against hers, it felt as if her own lips were being sucked, ached.
If he had asked to kiss her lips, she would have pushed him away, saying it was too soon. But to take advantage of the fact that she would allow this… Edwin Eccleston was a cunning man. A premonition, hot and unsettling, spread through her—that being an —easy woman— was already going to be difficult.
His gaze, as soft as his lips, intensely watched Giselle. This also created the illusion that they were sharing a kiss.
‘He looked at me with those same eyes back then’
He had the same look while they talked with their faces close together at the bar. He must have wanted to press his lips against hers and kiss her right then. And at dinner, too. A memory of what he had said suddenly came to her, when he looked at her with such fervent eyes and licked the cream from her lips.
—It tastes good, but it’s not enough.
She had thought it was just her imagination, but it was clear now. He had wanted to kiss her.
‘My God, Edwin Eccleston ‘not even Lorenz’ wants to kiss me?’
She looked and looked again, and even as she felt it with her skin, she simply couldn’t believe it. Was this not the same man who had been tormented when he was forced to press his lips against hers?
What in the world had changed in Edwin Eccleston without her knowing?
She wasn’t even kissed, but her breath came in short gasps, and her head was spinning. She didn’t remember how she said goodbye or how she got inside. It was only when she found herself standing in front of the dining table that she suddenly came to. The vase she had left in a hurry this evening was sitting right in front of her.
‘This was for our date too, wasn’t it?’
As soon as she saw the flowers again, she could no longer hold back the smile that held so much meaning, the smile she had tried to hide from him all day.
She moved the haphazardly placed flowers to a more suitable vase and arranged them. Then she took them to her bedroom and placed them next to her bed.
It was time to get ready for bed, but instead of lying down, she stood there, still in her clothes, staring at the flowers. Perhaps she was already asleep. She wasn’t sleepy at all, and everything felt like a dream.
‘Maybe this day has all been a cruel act of self-consolation, a final, desperate thought as I’m dying after falling in the water. Forcing a happy ending onto the final scenes of a life that ended too soon’
It was so sudden and so hard to believe that she was driven to such a preposterous thought.
Then, as if to scold her, the promise he made on the way home resonated deep within her heart.
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God bless you for the EN translation for all hard work you’ve done🌹